Tre volte Monon Behavior

Di Diego Manna

Libro-parodia umoristica delle riviste scientifiche, tratta temi leggeri ma con rigoroso linguaggio scientifico, anche se forse "Sciementifico" sarebbe più appropriato come termine.
Tra i temi, i caffè triestini, la monogamia femminile, la fine del mondo, TAV e rigassificatori e improbabili specie animali, quali l'Orangoogle trovatutto e l'utilissima ma lentissima tartabrugola. Best seller in formato cartaceo.
A funny pseudo-scientific journal in which humour and science are mixed, in the same way in which also english and italian languages are mixed. The result is a very comic sort of "new esperanto".

• Lingua: Italiano
• Editore: Diego Manna
• Data di uscita: 8 lug 2014
• ISBN: 9786050311808

Anteprima del libro

DIEGO MANNA

MB3

TRE VOLTE

MONON BEHAVIOR

Bianca&Volta Edizioni © 2010

www.biancaevolta.com

[e-mail]

isbn 978-88-96400-09-8 (printed edition)

Tutti i diritti riservati. Riproduzione anche parziale e con qualsiasi mezzo vietata.

A tutti quelli che hanno contribuito

chi in un modo, chi in un altro

alla saga dei tre mononi

MB

MONON BEHAVIOR

A magazine for the exchange of news, information and monades between sciementist of the world.

Registered TS-Monad No.6106990, Spritz cocal, Triest.

www.mononbehavior.it

www.mononbehavior.blogspot.it

www.facebook.com/mononbehavior

[e-mail]

Monon Behavior is published eight time a year: the approximate publication date are co ne gira, co gavemo voia, co gavemo bale, co xe el quel, in occasion dela quela, doman, faremo, se no farà romolo.

Annual subscriptions

Triestins: a gratis

Furlans: 500 euri

Europe: 20 euri

Others: fè voi

You can pagar only with contants. Just put the money in a boosta and send it to us. If you don’t receive your copy in time, it’s a problem that must be resolved. How? We don’t know. Maybe we will make a study about this problem.

Advertiscements (publicità, dei)

If you want to insert an advertisement in our magazine you can pay only 50 euri/words. Maybe we will publish it. Advertisements are not accepted from too serious persons or for product that are not totally inutil. Money is always accepted.

Back numbers

Many back numbers from 1998 are still available. Photocopies can be provided also. If you have finished your toilet paper, maybe they can be very useful.

Contributors

The editor welcome original contributions, which may be of any length, but not too long and smarrooning. They must be written with OpenOffice that is a gratis and must be inpaginated as we want, so we don’t have to do fadiga to resize and reorganized them. Contributions should be accompanied by photographs, figures and tables where appropriate. Contributions from female authors must be accompanied by photographs and telephone number of the author. The editor reserves the right to alter the material without prior consultation se no ghe piasi. The editor reserves the right to use the paper as toilet paper se ghe scampa.

Submit or be destroyed!

Opinion expressed by contributors are their own and we don’t want longhi.

All riferiments about furlans are only monades and we don’t want ciapar lignade next time we pass the Isonzo.

Cover illustrion: the inauguration of the Sea Park of Tries. Pupol by Erika Ronchin

All original monada in Monon Behavior is copyright throughoughout the world.

© 2010 Monon Behavior

EDITORIAL

I think I’m dumb

or maybe just happy

[K. Cobain]

I think I’m monon

or maybe just 3 volte bon

[D. Manna]

So, here we are again.

After one year, the third Monon Behavior is finally out. We still live in times of grossa crisi, for some aspects even worst than before. For example, the italian national team, still full of furlan players, made a terrible figureen at the mondial and has gone in waca, as Maxino wisely said. Also the social and political situation seems to be dramatic, with new scandals every day. The last voices are that Italy, that has yet reached the bottom and is scavating it from years, now appalted with public money the construction of a new bottom, to have something else to scavate for the next years.

However, in all this crisis, scandals and pupols, there is the solit city that silently watch what is happening around her, reacting to all these longhee brooti with her most powerful philosophy: the viva l’A e po’ bon methodology, condited with a little bit of nogopelcoolism. This city is, obviously, Triest.

Triest has no time to spend on those monades, because a more important fact altered the equilibrium of the city: the return of the wolf. In the last editorial we told you about the war between cats, cocals, ceenghials and cornacks for the food of the gattares, evolved in cocalares (vecia che se fa fregar el panin dai cocai) and then in ceenghialares (vecia che ghe dà de magnar ai cinghiai). Now that the wolves have been seen in Basoviza, the other animals have instantly changed their behavior. The ceenghials, in particular, began to cagars indoss and became more aggressive toward humans, and one of them adiritur rosigated the popocee of a person near Melara.

To predict how the situation of the triestin fauna will evolve, it is necessary to applicate a population dynamic model. The five species can be divided in five ethological triestin classes: the wolves are pericolous tare, the cats are indubitably nagane, the cocals are trapolers, the cornacks are tanduls and the ceenghials are a little bit grembani. From this approfondited modelistic analysis it results clear that at the end the winner will be the cats-nagane, because nobody can cazarghela to a nagana, and all the things will return as they were years ago: the vecete will give food only to cats and will return gattares, while the figures of the cocalares and of the ceenghialares will disappear. And what about the wolves? The wolves are tare, and will finish in canon.

Bon, monade aparts, this editorial is particularly important because there is a big announce that must be given: the Tre Volte Monon Behavior will be the last of the series.

Ta-daaa.

Stop crying, stop screaming, stop desperating, please! Do not sbregate your hairs! This hard decision is dovuted to the following motivations:

1. There is not 2 without 3, but no one knows anything about the 4.

2. All the best figades are organized in trilogies, like Matrix, Star Wars, Terminator, Pirates of the Caribbeans, the original project of Monkey Island, the Colombo’s caravels, ecc. So, if we want to make a figada, we have to stop at the third chapter of the saga. Probably we will do like Star Wars, and, after 20 years, we will write a new trilogy of pre-quel: the Moneto Behavior, or maybe the Mocoloso Behavior.

3. We have scagot that the furlans will catch us and riempir us of sazie lignade.

4. The monades are finishing.

5. Ah-ah. The point 4 is a monada, the monades are not finishing, they are infinite. But maybe you have scassated your maroons of reading so many mononic monades, so we stop at the top of the monada power, come i veri. Dei, Monon Behavior 4, 5, 6, 7, 3 mononi sopra il cielo, Scusa se ti chiamo Monon, Scusa ma ti voglio Monon...ce balis, no?

This does not mean that the Monon Behavior Research Department will close, we still have a lot of important things to explore, study and diffond. You can stay aggiornated following us in facebook, or in www.Bora.La. We have a lot of project for the future: first of all the FRiKo!, then some monades in triestin, then other monades, and others monades ancor.

Bon, now you are ready to read the final explosive chapter of the Mononic Saga.

In the last two numbers of MB we analyzed the triestin way of life. In this number, we will analyze the triestin way of life. There are studies about typical triestin endemisms, like the coffees, the Galeria Naturale soning, the Barcolan Riviera and the bora, there is a lot of mysticism, with important analyses on the furlanity of God, on the female polygamy and on what will happen on 2012, but above all there is a great sociologic cooltural genetic analyses of the triestinity, generated by the online answers of 350 people. 350 in less than a month. We love you. There were so many answers that we closed the campionament to work less in the elaboration of the data. The substitutive test that is online now has 1300 answers, ciò!

There are also new roobreekas, like the zooillogic canton, where our best zoologist Diego Manna will describe 15 sconosciuted animal species, pupolated by Erika Ronchin. Or like the Culridiculum Vitae received. And, last but not least, the Great Triestin Projects: we have sold a lot of important studies to multinationals and administrations that want to build a lot of things but that don’t know how to realize them, and now we are careeghee of pila, that we will use to drink spritzetts sentaded in a barcolan scoio.

Orca, what a long editorial! Bon dei, you can enjoy the rest by yourself. Daghe!

WLF

Barcola monetoration: a guide to the CTF distribution from Pineta to Beevio

DIEGO MANNA

Monon Behavior Research Department

Abstract

We monitorate extensively the CTF factor present at Barcola, from the Pineta to the Beevio of Miramar, to produce a touristic map of the CTF distribution. We found a clear settorial distribution of different triestin mularia categories and ages in the long Barcolan Riviera. As the presence of High CTF mulettes is real and not abstract, we terminate here the abstract.

Key words: Topoleenee, anti-tuff comitate, topology, patata hotspot, Barcolan Riviera Life Tour

Introduction

In the last years, Triest is trying to become a touristic city, in order to improve its budget and work less possible (this is the exact plan, even if the political class will negate it). So a lot of ideas and projects are on the way, like the Sea Park, the Carso Park, the abelliment of the Rive, the transformation of the grua Ursus in the Patock Eiffel Tower, the research of Saba’s lost pipe, the Bailey Bridge in Red Bridge square, that will be completed with the substitution of the canal water with the Baileys Irish Cream, the Barcola-Monte Grisa funivy, the magnification of the Area Science Park and many others.

The aim of all these projects is to attract tourist making Triest the capital of the Culture of the Mitteleurope. However, we are quite sure that the tourists of all the world are not attracted by those superficial things like culture, theater, science or nature. We think that the tourists prefer a more deep concept, an ideal paradise lost, an higher value that makes all d’accord: the CTF factor (CuloTetteFiga factor; Manna, 2009a). In Triest, during the summer season, this factor is very high at Barcola, and can attract a casinaz of tourists if well reclamized.

For this reason, we planned to monitorate extensively the CTF factor present at Barcola to produce a touristic map that can