Candido

Di - Voltaire e Annalisa Iezzi (a cura di)

Il romanzo filosofico Candido o l' ottimismo del 1759 é esplicitamente diretto contro la concezione leibniziana del "migliore dei mondi possibile": si narra di un giovane, Candido di nome e di fatto, che passa attraverso innumerevoli disgrazie. Viene cacciato dal suo castello, é arruolato a forza in un esercito che non lo riguarda, fa esperienza di un naufragio e di un terremoto, cade nelle mani dell'Inquisizione, perde infine tutte le sue ricchezze. Alle tremende sventure subite da Candido fa da contrappeso l' ottimismo esagerato del filosofo Pangloss, il cui nome, di derivazione greca significa "colui che ha sempre da dire su tutto"; Pangloss é irrimediabilmente convinto della tesi leibniziana secondo la quale viviamo nel migliore dei mondi possibili. La sua fede filosofica non viene incrinata neppure dalle grandi sciagure che piovono anche sul suo capo. Nella conclusione del romanzo, Pangloss insiste nel dire che tutto é andato per il meglio. Ma Candido, che ha ormai imparato la lezione della vita, preferisce rinunciare a ogni interpretazione metafisica della realtà, accontentandosi di operare utilmente nel piccolo spazio che il destino gli ha riservato.

• Lingua: Italiano
• Editore: REA Multimedia
• Data di uscita: 28 lug 2011
• ISBN: 9788874171064

- Voltaire

Imprisoned in the Bastille at the age of twenty-three for a criminal libel against the Regent of France, François-Marie Arouet was freed in 1718 with a new name, Voltaire, and the completed manuscript of his first play, Oedipe, which became a huge hit on the Paris stage in the same year. For the rest of his long and dangerously eventful life, this cadaverous genius shone with uninterrupted brilliance as one of the most famous men in the world. Revered, and occasionally reviled, in the royal courts of Europe, his literary outpourings and fearless campaigning against the medieval injustices of church and state in the midst of the ‘Enlightenment’ did much to trigger the French Revolution and to formulate the present notions of democracy. But above all, Voltaire was an observer of the human condition, and his masterpiece Candide stands out as an astonishing testament to his unequalled insight into the way we were and probably always will be.

Anteprima del libro

Candido

Voltaire

A cura di Annalisa Iezzi

In copertina: Johann Joseph Zoffany, Tribuna degli Uffizi, 1772

© 2011 REA Edizioni

Via S.Agostino 15

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Tel diretto 348 6510033

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La Casa Editrice esperite le pratiche per acquisire tutti i diritti relativi alla presente opera, rimane a disposizione di quanti avessero comunque a vantare ragioni in proposito.

Indice

PARTE PRIMA

CAPITOLO I

Come Candido crebbe in un bel castello e come fu cacciato via

CAPITOLO II

Quel che divenne Candido fra i Bulgari

CAPITOLO III

Come Candido scappò dai Bulgari e quel che gli accadde

CAPITOLO IV

Come Candido ritrova il suo antico maestro di filosofia il dottor Pangloss, e quel che ne segue

CAPITOLO V

Tempesta, naufragio, terremoto e quel che avvenne di Pangloss, di Candido e dell'anabattista

CAPITOLO VI

Come si fece un bell'auto-da-fè per impedire i tremoti e come Candido fu frustato

CAPITOLO VII

Come una vecchia si prese cura di Candido e come egli ritrova quel che voleva

CAPITOLO VIII

La storia di Cunegonda

CAPITOLO IX

Quel che successe di Cunegonda, di Candido, del Grande Inquisitore e di un Ebreo

CAPITOLO X

In quale indigenza Candido, Cunegonda e la vecchia arrivarono a Cadice e del loro imbarco

CAPITOLO XI

La storia della vecchia

CAPITOLO XII

Seguito delle sciagure della vecchia

CAPITOLO XIII

Come Candido fu obbligato a separarsi dalla bella Cunegonda e dalla vecchia

CAPITOLO XIV

Come Candido e Cacambo furono ricevuti dai Gesuiti del Paraguay

CAPITOLO XV

Come Candido uccise il fratello della sua cara Cunegonda

CAPITOLO XVI

Quel che avvenne ai due viaggiatori con le due femmine, due scimmie, e gli uomini selvaggi chiamati Orecchioni

CAPITOLO XVII

Arrivo di Candido e del suo servo al Paese d'Eldorado e ciò che essi vi videro

CAPITOLO XVIII

Ciò che videro nel paese d'Eldorado

CAPITOLO XIX

Ciò che accadde loro a Surinam e come Candido fece conoscenza con Martino

CAPITOLO XX

Ciò che accadde sul mare a Candido e a Martino

CAPITOLO XXI

Candido e Martino si avvicinano alle coste di Francia e ragionano

CAPITOLO XXII

Ciò che accadde in Francia a Candido e a Martino

CAPITOLO XXIII

Candido e Martino arrivano sulle coste d'Inghilterra e ciò che vi vedono

CAPITOLO XXIV

Visita al signor Pococurante, nobile veneziano

CAPITOLO XXV

D'una cena che Candido e Martino fecero con sei forestieri, e chi erano

CAPITOLO XXVI

Viaggio di Candido a Costantinopoli

CAPITOLO XXVII

Ciò che accade a Candido, a Cunegonda, a Pangloss, a Martino, ecc.

CAPITOLO XXVIII

Come Candido ritrova Cunegonda e la vecchia

CAPITOLO XXIX

Conclusione della prima parte

PARTE SECONDA

CAPITOLO I

Come Candido si separa dalla sua società e ciò che accade

CAPITOLO II

Come Candido uscì dalla casa del Persiano

CAPITOLO III

Candido Ricevuto alla Corte, e ciò che ne segue

CAPITOLO IV

Nuovi favori che riceve Candido, e sua elevazione

CAPITOLO V

Come Candido è un gran signore, e non è contento

CAPITOLO VI

Disgusto di Candido. Incontro che egli non s’aspettava

CAPITOLO VII

Disgrazie di Candido. Viaggi e avventure

CAPITOLO VIII

Arrivo di Candido e di Pangloss alla Propontide; ciò che videro e ciò che avvenne

CAPITOLO IX

Candido continua a viaggiare, ed in quale qualità

CAPITOLO X

Candido continua i suoi viaggi. Nuove avventure

CAPITOLO XI

Istoria di Zenoide. Come ugualmente Candido se ne innamorò e quel che ne seguì

CAPITOLO XII

Continuazione dell'amore di Candido

CAPITOLO XIII

Arrivo di Volhall. Viaggio a Copenaghen

CAPITOLO XIV

Come Candido ritrovò la moglie e perdé l'amante

CAPITOLO XV

Come Candido volesse ammazzarsi, e non ne facesse niente. Ciò che gli accadde in un'osteria

CAPITOLO XVI

Candido e Cacambo si ritirano in un ospedale. Incontro che essi fanno

CAPITOLO XVII

Nuovi incontri

CAPITOLO XVIII

Seguito del disastro di Candido. Come egli trovò la sua amante. La fine

PARTE PRIMA

CAPITOLO I

Come Candido crebbe in un bel castello e come fu cacciato via

       Era nella Vesfalia, nel castello del barone di Thunder-ten-tronckh, un giovane che aveva avuto dalla natura i più dolci pregi. Gli si leggeva il cuore nel volto. Univa egli a un giudizio molto assennato una grande semplicità di cuore, per la qual cosa, credo io, lo chiamavano Candido. I vecchi servitori di casa avevano il sospetti che fosse figlio della sorella del signor barone, e di un gentiluomo  che questa signora non volle mai  decidere a sposare perché egli non aveva potuto provare il suo grado di nobiltà in quanto il resto del suo albero genealogico era andato distrutto a causa delle ingiurie del tempo.

       Il signor barone era uno dei più potenti signori della Vesfalia, perché il suo castello aveva porte e finestre; e in più anche una sala con arazzi. Tutti i cani dei suoi cortili componevano in caso di bisogno una muta di caccia; i suoi staffieri erano i suoi cacciatori, e il piovano del villaggio il suo grande elemosiniere. Gli davano tutti dell’Eccellenza, e ridevano quando raccontava delle novelle.

       La signora baronessa, che pesava circa 160 chili, si attirava per questo un grandissimo riguardo, e faceva gli onori della casa con una dignità che la rendeva più rispettabile ancora. Sua figlia Cunegonda, di diciassette anni, era ben colorita, fresca, grassottella, da far gola. Il figlio del barone si mostrava tutto degno erede di suo padre. Il precettore Pangloss era l’oracolo di casa, e il giovanetto Candido ne ascoltava le lezioni con tutta la buona fede dell'età sua e del suo carattere.

       Pangloss insegnava la metafisico-teologo-cosmologo-nigologia. Egli provava a sorpresa che non si dà effetto senza causa, e che in questo mondo, il migliore dei possibili, il castello di S. E. era il più bello dei castelli, e  che Madama era la migliore di tutte le baronesse possibili.

        - È dimostrato, diceva egli, che le cose non possono essere altrimenti; perché il tutto essendo fatto per un fine, deve essere necessariamente per un ottimo fine. Osservate bene che il naso è fatto per portar gli occhiali, e così si portano gli occhiali; le gambe son fatte visibilmente per esser calzate, e noi abbiamo delle calze, le pietre son state formate per tagliarle e farne dei castelli, e così S. E. ha un bellissimo castello; il più grande dei baroni della provincia deve  abitare nel migliore dei posti, e i maiali essendo fatti per mangiarli, vanno mangiati tutto l'anno. Di conseguenza quelli che hanno affermato che tutto è bene; hanno sbagliato, bisognava dire che tutto è l'ottimo.

       Candido ascoltava tutto attentamente ed innocentemente ci credeva; perché trovava Cunegonda bella all'estremo, sebbene non avesse mai avuto l’ardire di dirlo a lei. Egli concludeva che dopo la fortuna di esser nato barone di Thunder-ten-tronckh, il secondo grado di felicità era di esser Cunegonda, il terzo di vederla tutti i giorni, il quarto di ascoltare il precettore Pangloss, il più gran filosofo della provincia, e in conseguenza del mondo.

       Un giorno Cunegonda, passeggiando presso il castello in un boschetto cui si dava il nome di parco, vide tra i cespugli il dottor Pangloss che dava una lezione di fisica sperimentale alla cameriera di sua madre, brunetta avvenente  ed accondiscendente. Cunegonda agitata e assorta tornò indietro pensando a Candido.

       Lo incontrò nel ritornare al castello, e arrossì; Candido arrossì anch'egli; ella gli diede il buon giorno con una voce spezzata, e Candido le parlò senza saper quello che dicesse. Il giorno dopo, concluso il pranzo, Cunegonda e Candido si trovarono dietro a un paravento, Cunegonda lasciò cadere il fazzoletto e Candido lo raccolse; ella gli prese innocentemente la mano ed egli innocentemente la baciò, con una slancio, con un trasporto, con una grazia particolarissima; le loro bocche s’incontrarono, i loro occhi s'infiammarono, le loro ginocchia cedettero, le mani si strinsero. Il signor barone di Thunder-ten-tronckh passò accanto al paravento, e vedendo questa causa e questo effetto, cacciò via Candido dal castello a pedate. Cunegonda svenne, fu schiaffeggiata dalla baronessa appena rinvenuta che fu, ed ogni cosa fu sottosopra nel più bello e nel più delizioso di tutti i castelli possibili.

CAPITOLO II

Quel che divenne Candido fra i Bulgari

      Candido fu cacciato dal paradiso terrestre, vagò lungo tempo senza saper dove andare, piangendo, alzando gli occhi al cielo, e spesso si rivolgeva al più bello fra i castelli che racchiudeva la più bella delle baronessine. Si distese senza aver cenato in mezzo ai campi fra due solchi mentre la neve fioccava. Candido intirizzito dal freddo si strascinò il giorno dopo verso la città vicina che si chiamava Waldberghoff-trarbk-dikdorff, senza un quattrino, morto di fame, e di stanchezza; si fermò pieno di tristezza alla porta di un’osteria. Due uomini vestiti di turchino l'osservarono:

        - Camerata, disse un di loro, ecco un giovanotto ben fatto e dall'ottima statura.

       Si diressero verso Candido, e con gentilezza lo invitarono a pranzare con loro.

        - E' un grande onore, signori, disse loro Candido con una modestia che incantava, ma io non ho nulla con cui pagare il conto.

        - Eh signore, rispose un di quelli, le persone del suo aspetto e della sua qualità non pagano mai nulla; non è alto quasi un metro e settanta?

        - Sì, signori, disse egli, con un bell'inchino, questa è la mia statura.

        - Ah signore, si metta a tavola: non solo noi non la faremo pagare, ma non sopporteremo ulteriormente che ad uno della sua levatura manchi del danaro. Gli uomini son fatti per aiutarsi l’uno con  l'altro.

        - Me l'ha sempre detto il signor Pangloss, riprese Candido; voi avete ragione, ed io vedo chiaramente che tutto concorre al meglio.

       Lo pregarono di accettare qualche soldo, egli li prende, e vorrebbe firmare una ricevuta ma quelli non ne vogliono sapere nulla e si mettono a tavola.

        - Non amate voi teneramente?...

        - Tenerissimamente io amo, disse egli, la signora Cunegonda.

        - Eh no, replicò un di loro, le abbiamo chiesto se voi amate teneramente il re de' Bulgari.

        - Niente affatto, disse egli, perché non l’ho mai visto.

        - Come? questo e il più amabile di tutti i re, brindiamo alla sua salute.

        - Oh volentieri, signori miei; e beve.

        - Tanto basta, gli dicono, eccovi l'appoggio, il sostegno, il difensore, e l'eroe dei Bulgari; ecco fatta la vostra fortuna, ecco stabilita la vostra gloria.

       Immediatamente gli mettono i ferri ai piedi, e lo conducono al reggimento.

       Lo fanno voltare a dritta e a sinistra, sollevare la bacchetta, rimettere la bacchetta, impostarsi tirare, raddoppiare le file, e gli regalano trenta bastonate; il giorno dopo fa un po’ meno male l’esercizio, e non ne riceve che venti: l’altro giorno non ne ha che dieci, ed è considerato dai suoi camerati come un prodigio.

       Candido stupefatto non aveva ancora capito come fosse diventato un eroe: in una bella giornata di primavera andò a passeggiare, marciando dritto, piede dopo piede, credendo che fosse un privilegio della specie umana, come della specie animale, il poter usare le sue gambe a suo piacimento. Non aveva fatto dieci chilometri, che fu raggiunto da quattro eroi alti un metro e ottanta , che lo legarono e lo condussero in una prigione. Gli domandarono se aveva voglia di passare trentasei volte sotto le bacchette di tutto il reggimento, o se preferiva ricevere improvvisamente dodici palle di piombo nel cervello. Aveva un bel dire sul fatto che le volontà sono libere, che lui non voleva né l'uno né l'altro; bisognò decidersi a scegliere. In virtù di quel dono di Dio che chiamano libertà, decisero che doveva passare trentasei volte  sotto le bacchette, e le sopportò per due volte. Il reggimento era composto di duemila uomini e questo significò quattromila frustate, che dal collo fino al sedere gli scoprirono tutti i muscoli e i nervi. Stavano per procedere alla terza volta, quando Candido non potendone più, domandò se avessero la bontà di colpirlo con il moschetto. Egli ottenne questo favore; gli bendarono gli occhi e lo fecero inginocchiare; il re dei Bulgari passò in quel momento, s'informò del reato del paziente; e siccome questo re aveva un grande ingegno, comprese subito da ciò che sentì da Candido, egli era un giovane metafisico, molto ignorante delle cose di questo mondo, e gli accordò la grazia con un tratto di clemenza che sarà celebrato da tutti i giornali, e in tutti i secoli. Un bravo chirurgo guarì Candido con emollienti insegnati

Recensioni su Candido

[terrapinjetta_1 · Valutazione: 4 su 5 stelle]

Absolutely hilarious, and extremely easy to read as well.

[wenestvedt_1 · Valutazione: 4 su 5 stelle]

I saw this at the Guthrie Theater in the late 80s and it was great; the story still holds up.

[schufman · Valutazione: 3 su 5 stelle]

Very enjoyable, especially for a philosophical stint. Definitely a book I will want to read several times over to digest, but for an initial reading it was fairly light.

[signature103 · Valutazione: 4 su 5 stelle]

Very funny. Cynical. This edition was a please to read. Not great realistic storytelling but that wasn't the point of it, now was it.

[xiaomarlo · Valutazione: 5 su 5 stelle]

Hilarious! Ever since reading The Baroque Cycle (or at least the first two books and the first half of the third one) I've loved this historical period, and it's clear Stephenson wrote it with Candide in mind. It's silly, clever, and risqué, and you can read it in an afternoon.

[gazzy_1 · Valutazione: 3 su 5 stelle]

Classic modern fable exploring the once popular philosophy of 'everything now is exactly as it should be and for the best' with comedic results.

[omgully · Valutazione: 4 su 5 stelle]

Great book. However, the Bantam Classic edition is only an ok translation. I got my copy for cheap. It tells the story but I'm sure there are other more scholarly translations I would choose if I were to read it again.

[sushicat-1 · Valutazione: 3 su 5 stelle]

Voltaire wrote this under a pseudonym as a satyrical critique to the popular philosophy of the day whereby we live in the best possilble world. It reads as a (rather long) series of atrocities and misfortunes that happen to just about every person Candice encounters during his rather curious adventures.
An interesting read in it's historical and philosophical context, but rather tough read without it.

[funfunyay · Valutazione: 3 su 5 stelle]

A very thoughtful and socially relevant critique of certain philosophies. Bitingly funny at times, and quietly tragic at others, it is easy to see why it has become a classic. However, it doesn't seem to me to present any alternatives to what it criticizes - as much as the Leibniz-style optimism is unfounded and dangerous, it gave me a bit of an empty feeling when I was finished. If you deconstruct the fallacies of one or another worldview, you had better have your own worldview ready to bring forward. Candide is essentially a negative novel, it dismembers what is bad or false rather than affirming or promoting what is good or true. It is like an Anti-War rally rather than a Peace rally. While I think it was essential of Voltaire that he fight the forces of Absolute monarchy and rationalism, this is not a novel to build a society on.

[mikemillertime · Valutazione: 4 su 5 stelle]

"Candide" is a black comedy whose punchlines usually involve the innocent narrator being ruthlessly whipped for no good reason whatsoever. Still, the book has a remarkably evolved worldview given its age, playing as a broad satire and loose mockery of preconceived notions of virtue, morality, faith and justice. Filled with dated allusions to current events, the book is still an enjoyable romp of a read, especially at a lightweight 90 pages.

[ashryan_1 · Valutazione: 5 su 5 stelle]

Voltaire is still recognized as one of history's greatest satirists, and after reading Candide it's not hard to see why. Two and a half centuries later, it still has the power both to amuse and to shock.On the surface, as has often been noted, Candide is obviously a critique of the philosophy of Liebniz, and especially of the idea that this is the best of all possible worlds and everything is as it had to be in order for this to be so (in accordance, presumably, with the plans of an omnipotent and omnibenevolent Creator). Voltaire goes quite over the top in showing the misadventures and misfortunes that befall his befuddled hero, who at first whole-heartedly buys into this "optimism."Eventually, Candide's tale concludes with his advice that we should all just tend to our gardens--the precise meaning of which has been widely (and wildly) speculated about. Many take it to be a rejection of philosophy as such as being entirely useless, and we should just take a more pragmatic approach to life, though I find this interpretation untenable. More likely, given what we know about Voltaire as an Enlightenment thinker and from the content of Candide itself, it is simply a rejection of one philosophical school, namely that of rationalism. This is wider than just Liebniz, and Voltaire does target the ideas of other major rationalists (e.g., Descartes) as well. The message seems to be that philosophy is useless *when it has nothing to do with, and is in fact contradicted by, our actual experience.* The ending then suggests a much more practical sort of philosophy, like the one represented in America by Voltaire's contemporary Benjamin Franklin, but it is a philosophy nonetheless.In the end, this is a highly entertaining and thought-provoking story that is still very relevant in today's world, and should still be required reading for everybody.

[ajbraithwaite_1 · Valutazione: 3 su 5 stelle]

Any book that concludes with the idea that the way to happiness is to tend a garden has to get an approval rating from me. Even if I have to overlook some weird lasciviousness in order to do so. And the bit about shooting Admiral Byng 'to encourage the others' deserves a star all on its own.

[therebelprince · Valutazione: 5 su 5 stelle]

Juvenal once said, "It is difficult not to write satire", meaning that even if he put ink to paper with different intentions, his worldview would press him on in one direction. He and Voltaire would have got along famously, I suspect.

[benjamin.duffy · Valutazione: 4 su 5 stelle]

I think that Candide is probably the type of book that enriches the reader the deeper he or she delves into it. It would probably reward repeated readings. It would probably reveal deeper layers of satire and absurdity if it were read in the original French. It would probably take on deeper shades of meaning if it were read in conjunction with any of the commentaries that have been written about it over the past 250-odd years.

Having said that, I'm not going to do any of those things. I have way too many books on my plate to reread this book any time in the next year; the limits of my French (one year of college French, an ex-wife who was fluent) would make reading it in that language a brutal, dictionary-in-hand chore; and I generally dislike reading books about books, so commentaries are right out.

So, I didn't dig too deeply into Candide, instead just reading it as the absurd tale it was, not looking for too much meaning beyond the surface. And you know what? I enjoyed it thoroughly. It was like Forrest Gump, only with a little less faith in humanity and a lot more murder, rape, cannibalism, zoophilia, and child prostitution. It was full of pitch-black humor, and the breezy, matter-of-fact way in which some of the horrific situations were described only served to make it funnier.

Unsurprisingly, this was a super dark book, and an angry one, full of scathing satire. It served up a double middle finger salute to pretty much everyone: nobility, clergy, self-styled intellectuals, real intellectuals, commoners, the French, the Germans, the English - nobody escapes Voltaire's poison pen. Virtually everyone is portrayed as stupid, dishonest, self-serving, small-minded, and hypocritical. Religion and government receive the brunt of Voltaire's onslaught; it isn't hard to see why this book was banned in so many places for so many years - even well into the 20th century in parts of the United States.

This was a fast, hilarious, exhilaratingly bitter read, and just the thing to top off your misanthropy tank if it's ever running low. Fine family fun!

[soylentgreen23 · Valutazione: 5 su 5 stelle]

Dr Pangloss's assertion that "Everything happens for the best possible reasons" is severely tested in this novella of auto da fe, execution, extortion, slavery, cannibalism and sodomy. A classic from an age long since passed, it remains as witty and as relevant now as it ever was.

[gbill_7 · Valutazione: 4 su 5 stelle]

In 1755 a massive earthquake rocked Lisbon, and the subsequent fires and tsunami destroyed an estimated 85% of the city. It’s hard to imagine the mindset at the time, but it’s not surprising that many saw it as a sign of divine judgment. Voltaire, on the other hand, saw it as evidence refuting the philosophy espoused by Leibniz that “all is for the best in the best of all possible worlds”. He wrote the satire “Candide, or Optimism” in 1759 as a result, publishing it under another name because it was so incendiary, ridiculing religion and governments in addition to Leibniz. In the novel the young hero Candide is being mentored by Pangloss who believes in the Liebniz’s optimistic philosophy. The book follows his travels all over the world, where he repeatedly sees evil, great violence, and the worst of mankind. The only exception is his sojourn in the mythical village of El Dorado, run by a society of rational people, but this is brief. In the end he is thoroughly disillusioned, but Voltaire doesn’t conclude without a ray of hope. His last line has remained with me for a couple of decades: “we must cultivate our garden” … another way I think of saying, think globally, but act locally. Don’t be wide-eyed and unrealistic about the goodness of God or man, but do what you can in your own little corner of the world to make it a better place. Maurois’ introduction to this edition says Voltaire in general “…wanted to show (a) that it is absurd to suppose that an omnipotent God, creator of Heaven and Earth, had chosen the Jews, a small tribe of Bedouin nomads, as His chosen people; (b) that the chronicle of that race (the Bible) was packed with incredible facts, obscenities, and contradictions…(c) that the Gospels, although more moral than the Old Testament, were nevertheless full of the gossipings of illiterate nobodies; and finally (d) that the disputes which set the sects at each other’s throats throughout eighteen centuries were foolish and unavailing.”Voltaire’s fiction here isn’t likely to blow you away but the message from 250 years ago and his clarity of thought as a leader of the Enlightenment may; for this I would recommend Candide.Quotes:On God:“But I confess that when I consider this globe, or rather this globule, I think that God has abandoned it to some malevolent being – with the exception of Eldorado. I’ve almost never seen a town that didn’t desire the ruin of some neighboring town, or a family that didn’t want to exterminate some other family. Everywhere in the world, the weak detest the strong and grovel before them, and the strong treat them like flocks of sheep to be sold for their meat and wool…”On humiliation:“They were immediately stripped as naked as monkeys, and so were my mother, our ladies-in-waiting and I. It’s amazing how quickly those gentlemen can undress people. But what surprised me even more was that they put their fingers in a place where we women usually allow nothing but the nozzle of an enema. This ceremony seemed very strange to me; that’s how we judge everything when we’ve never been outside our own country before. I soon learned that it was to find out whether we’d hidden any diamonds there. It’s a custom that’s been observed since time immemorial by all civilized seafaring nations. I later learned that the Knights of Malta never fail to practice it when they capture Turkish men and women. It’s a point of international law which always has been complied with.”On man’s nature:“’Do you believe,’ said Candide, ‘that men have always slaughtered each other as they do today, that they’ve always been liars, cheats, traitors, ingrates and thieves, weak, fickle, cowardly, envious, greedy, drunken, miserly, ambitious, bloodthirsty, slanderous, lecherous, fanatical, hypocritical and foolish?’‘Do you believe,’ said Martin, ‘that hawks have always eaten pigeons when they find them?’‘Yes, of course,’ said Candide.‘Well, then,’ said Martin. ‘if hawks have always had the same character, what makes you think men may have changed theirs?’‘Oh!’ said Candide. ‘There’s a big difference, because free will…’The discussion was still going on when they reached Bordeaux.”On prostitution:“…and forced to continue that abominable trade which seems so pleasant to you men, but which is nothing but an abyss of misery for us. I came to Venice to practice my profession. Oh sir, if you could only imagine what it’s like to be forced to caress without discrimination an old merchant, a lawyer, a monk, a gondolier or a priest, to be exposed to every kind of insult and abuse, to be often reduced to borrowing a skirt for some disgusting man to lift up, to be robbed by one man of what you’ve earned with another, to be blackmailed by magistrates, and to have nothing to look forward to except an atrocious old age, the workhouse and the garbage dump, you’d conclude that I’m one of the most wretched creatures in the world!’”On religion:“After the earthquake had destroyed three-quarters of Lisbon, the wise men of the country could think of no more effective way of avoiding total ruin than giving the populace a fine auto-da-fe. It was decided by the University of Coimbra that the sight of several people being slowly burned with great ceremony was an infallible means of preventing the earth from quaking.”On sex:“One day as Cunegonde was walking near the castle in the little wood known as ‘the park,’ she saw Dr. Pangloss in the bushes, giving a lesson in experimental physics to her mother’s chambermaid, a very pretty and docile little brunette. Since Lady Cunegonde was deeply interested in the sciences, she breathlessly observed the repeated experiments that were performed before her eyes. She clearly saw the doctor’s sufficient reason, and the operation of cause and effect. She then returned home, agitated and thoughtful, reflecting that she might be young Candide’s sufficient reason, and he hers.”On slavery:“’Yes sir,’ said the Negro, ‘it’s the custom. We’re given a pair of short trousers twice a year as our only clothing. If we get a finger caught under the millstone while we’re working in the sugar mills, they cut off the whole hand; and if we try to run away, they cut off one of our legs. I’ve been in both those situations. That’s the price of the sugar you eat in Europe.’”On suicide:“I’ve wanted to kill myself a hundred times, but I still love life. That ridiculous weakness is perhaps one of our most pernicious inclinations. What could be more stupid than to persist in carrying a burden that we constantly want to cast off, to hold our existence in horror, yet cling to it nonetheless, to fondle the serpent that devours us, until it has eaten our heart?”On war:“Old men with wounds all over their bodies were watching the death throes of butchered women who clutched their children to their bloody breasts; girls who had been disemboweled after satisfying the natural needs of several heroes were breathing their last sighs; others, mortally burned, were shrieking for someone to hasten their death. The ground was strewn with brains and severed arms and legs.”And this one I chuckled over:“’You know England: are people as mad there as in France?’‘It’s another kind of madness,’ said Martin. ‘As you know, those two nations are fighting a war over a few acres of snow on the edge of Canada, and they’re spending more on that glorious war than the whole of Canada is worth.’”

[jwhenderson_1 · Valutazione: 5 su 5 stelle]

Before there was the opera by Leonard Bernstein there was the original, Candide: or, Optimism by Voltaire (nee Francois-Marie Arouet). The important thing to note about the title is the subtitle, optimism, for in all of literature there is hardly another work that argues more strongly for an optimistic approach to life. While Voltaire takes a cynical view of humanity that even denizens of the twenty-first century can appreciate, his cynicism does not lead him, or rather does not lead his character Doctor Pangloss, to reject an optimism that is best know by the phrase; this is "the best of all possible worlds". Yet, it is late in the book that we realize that Voltaire takes a view that man's life is made worth living by the exercise of hope, good nature, and industry. Indeed, the book ends with Candide saying to Doctor Pangloss, "we must cultivate our garden". And our garden, even for the skeptic Voltaire, is the one we inherited from Adam after his unceremonious exit from Eden. Voltaire's Candide is a delight for the reader almost two hundred fifty years after its first appearance from the fiery pen of one of the greatest thinkers of the Age of Enlightenment.

[stef7sa-1 · Valutazione: 4 su 5 stelle]

Still funny, this sarcastic, cynical tale about the innocent young man learning about the ways of the world the hard way. "Why then was the world created?" " To drive us mad!"

[morhavok · Valutazione: 3 su 5 stelle]

Candide holds up admirably for being a couple centuries old. It is also one of the easier reads I have had in a while. The novel follows the life of Candide, a young man whose candid nature and inexperience leads him to a more adventurous life than any of us could hope for. From his homeland of Germany, to the Andean Mountains of Peru Candide follows a path that gives him some of the greatest highs and greatest lows. He loses and gains companions throughout his journey, yet ultimately comes to his own understanding of the world. The novel is full of outdated references, which the book was pretty good at explaining. But the humor is sometimes lost. The character development is there, but since the book doesn’t really go into detail its not exactly good. The characters are all amusing in their different perspectives and philosophical insights. Candide is definitely worth a read since its under 100 pages. It shouldn’t take more than a week to read, which is all easy. You don’t have to study over notes to understand what is happening at all. Probably a good books to get people interested in classics. Favorite Quote: “Why should you think it so strange that in some countries there are monkeys which insinuate themselves into the good graces of the ladies; they are a fourth part human, as I am a fourth part Spaniard.” (38)

[thedivineoomba · Valutazione: 4 su 5 stelle]

Finally got around to reading this - it is one part satire, one part comedy, and one part ethical quandary. And... it is quite short and easy to read. Here we have poor Candide - who spends his whole life following the advice of Dr. Pangloss. Poor Candide - he loves the Lady Cunegonde, and she loves him, which gets him in trouble with his lord, and sets him on the path of black comedy.This book isn't pleasant to read. At times, it is quite dark. Its written to demonstrate a point. Which is 'happiness isn't given to you - you make it'. There are also ethical quandaries about war and the the noble class. Poor Candide - he is an idiot- afloat in a sea spending.I do think that this book has layers upon layers of meaning - It will be a book I intend to re-read and see its meaning changes.

[kristelh_15 · Valutazione: 5 su 5 stelle]

This was a fun read even though I wouldn't agree with Voltaire's philosophy and deism. The story is a fun journey tale of Candide. Candide is kicked out of the best possible castle and travels through Europe with his philosopher friends to the Americas, to Eldorado (truly the best possible place) and then back to Europe. Candide pursues his true love only to find her grown ugly by the time he finds her. In the end he decides that work is the only way to avoid boredom, vice and poverty and states "we must cultivate our garden".

[poreilly_1 · Valutazione: 1 su 5 stelle]

I was disappointed by this book, which I had always heard described as "great literature." Instead, I thought Candide was mostly silly and fantastical. There was a deeper unlying theme having to do with the nature of the universe and whether to view the human condition within nature with optimism or pessimism, but the discussions regarding the foregoing, while cropping up often, were superfiscial.

[luli81_1 · Valutazione: 3 su 5 stelle]

Having never read anything by Voltaire before I didn't know what to expect, but he being known as one of the greatest French philosophers of all times, I was prepared for a tedious and complex novel.I couldn't have been wronger. "Candide" is a satirical short tale, without ornaments, straight to the point, which describes the crudeness of human nature. We follow Candide and his friends travelling around the world and suffering all king of imaginable vicissitudes while trying to believe what their master told them: That everything is for the best. The final message left me a bit dumbfounded, I expected wise advice after such strong criticism and Voltaire gives the reader the pessimist impression that he gives little credit to humans in general, as if we were inferior creatures who shouldn't bother to question about philosophical issues which are beyond our limited understanding.All in all, a strange reading which left me wondering if we can take something positive out of this sarcastic and raw tale.

[david.alfred.sarkies · Valutazione: 4 su 5 stelle]

What originally caught my attention with this book was that when I was wondering around Dymocks in Adelaide I discovered it in one of the cheap book buckets, and since it was slim, and cheap, I decided to buy it. I'm not really sure why I originally purchased it, maybe it had something to do with it being written by Voltaire, and the fact that it was slim and it was cheap (and being on Austudy at the time, I did not have huge amounts of money to spend on books, and also being relatively time poor, meaning that I was at University and had a lot of other books to read as well, I wanted something quick and easy to read – though the words quick and easy do not go all that well with Voltaire).The story is about a boy named Candide who grows up in a castle (that happens to be called Thunder-ten-Tronckh, which is the coolest name for a castle that I have heard, though I am not sure whether it actually exists, however according to Voltaire it is somewhere in Westphalia). Anyway, Candide falls in love with the sister of the baron, but the baron is not at all happy with that so he kicks him out of the castle, and Candide then goes off, gets captured by a group known as the Burgundians, gets caught up in an earthquake in Lisbon, and lands up in El Dorado after travelling through the jungles of South America. In the end he finds himself in Turkey, becomes reacquainted with his long lost love only to discover that she has become one of the ugliest women that he has ever encountered (not that it actually puts him off her because he ends up getting together with her anyway) and then settles down in a small cottage with his companions and spends the rest of his life tending a garden (which he realises is the essence of life, if only because when God created humanity, he put humanity in a garden to tend it).I should make a comment about this whole idea of tending a garden because it actually seems to be one of those past times that people simply seem to enjoy. Me, I've never been much of a gardener, and I have only ever successfully grown two plants (one of them being Aloe Vera), though I have found myself of late wondering out the back of my house randomly pulling up weeds simply because when I look a them I get this feeling that they shouldn't be there and I want to pull them up. Actually, that is getting a bit extreme for me because as I sit on the train as it pulls out of Flinders Street Station I see all of these weeds on the tracks and a part of me wants to get out and start pulling them up as well (I wonder if others also get that feeling).Gardening though seems to be one of those things that a lot of us Westerners seem to have a passion for, though I should be a bit more specific because not many of us have the opportunity of living in a house with a garden. Those of us in Australia (and America) where space is not at a premium, can live in houses with a backyard and as such have a garden. However, in places like Europe and China, to have a garden means that you have money, and a lot of it. I remember going on a date with a Chinese girl in Hong Kong and when I showed her a Google Map (streetview) image of my house, she burst out in amazement at the fact that I had a garden. However, if you wonder around parts of Australia you will discover that a lot of houses that could have gardens, don't, simply because people don't want to put an effort into creating them.Creating a garden is sort of like creating a work of art. In fact a garden is a work of art. If you travel to the parks and to some of the mansions that are open to the public, you will discover incredibly manicured gardens. I remember that my old next door neighbour had a beautiful garden, however she ended up selling her house, which was then leased to a bunch of bogans, and within two months the garden was all but destroyed. I guess that is the problem with buying houses with gardens – if you buy it, and you pay for the garden, then you should be ready to look after it and make sure that it is maintained in that state because looking after a garden is a lot of effort, and a lot of work, and if you lease out a house with a garden, expect that garden not to last all that long.Well, it seems that I have been talking a lot about gardens, but have not actually said much about the book itself – well I guess that is what you get when you read one of my commentaries. Anyway, the idea behind the book is that things don't happen for a reason. This is in response (most likely to Calvinism) that everything happens for a reason, and that if bad things happen to you then it is because God has a reason as to why that happens. The truth cannot be further from the truth. Take for instance the Book of Job in the Bible. Job, a faithful worshipper of God suddenly discovers that the shit pretty much hits the fan when it comes to his life, and when he asks why his friends all come up with reasons as to why this happened – however they were wrong: in the end God says to him that this shit happened because, well, basically shit happens.Okay, there is much more beyond the trials of Job than simply shit happens, but when Job questions God, and God responds, God does not give him a straight answer but simply says 'shit happens' (though not in those exact terms, though I am sure that the bible would be much more appealing if the translators actually used the correct words rather than watering it down a lot because Christians don't use the phrase 'shit happens' or at least most Christians don't, namely because I'm a Christian and I just said 'shit happens').I'm probably one of those people that takes the narrow road. Okay, to an extent I believe in a predestined universe, however the thing is that history is made up by our own decisions, and the decisions of others. There are things that happen to us that are beyond our control (such as an earthquake) and there are things that happen to us because we make a decision (such as a divorce that comes out of the fact that we decided to have sex with the secretary). Granted, I do believe in an omnipotent God, however the thing is that God has given us free will, and what that means is that we can and do choose our destiny. For instance those of us that remain in our dead end job and do nothing to actually move out of that dead end job (or behave in such an appalling manner that we end up putting off all of the people who have the power to move us out of that dead end job) have nobody to blame but ourselves, however those of us that get caught in a fire that results in substantial burns to our body, and the cause of the fire is due to somebody else's stupidity well, as mean as it may sound, but seriously, shit happens.Hey, I work in a job where I hear quite often 'why am I being made to pay when it is not my fault?'. It is a cry that I hear again and again, but the truth is that this is what this world is all about. It is not that God does not love us, but rather it is because we, as humans, want to live our life our own way, and when bad things happen to us, whether it be our fault or not, then we want to blame others. What hurts even more is that when we do the right thing, such as admitting wrong because we did something stupid, we then have to pay for it. Unfortunately we live in a harsh world – and this is what Voltaire is getting at here, the world is harsh, and it is due to the actions of people and due to things that are beyond our control, and to sit down there and hide ourselves in a belief that everything happens for a purpose is, in many cases, foolish. What we need to accept and realise is that 'shit happens' and that as long as we live in this world 'shit' will continue to 'happen' whether it is because of our actions or not. We simply have to accept it, and if we can't, well go find a garden to tend, because that is the only happiness you are going to find in this world.

[davidgnp · Valutazione: 4 su 5 stelle]

One of the many classics I am currently re-reading, 'Candide' still entertains me. I would credit its continued relevance as a satire on society and the human condition even though the vast majority of its contemporary references are now forgotten except by specialists and scholars. What touches the modern reader is the humour, the broad but hilariously irreverent characterisation (it had not struck me before how like Don Quixote and Sancho Panza are Candide and Cacambo), the sharpness of the satire, and the questioning philosophy. I would argue there are few more powerful books on the hold our acquisitive natures have on us and the futility of our greed, or on the merits of finding our personal gardens to cultivate.

[melydia_1 · Valutazione: 3 su 5 stelle]

This is quite the silly book. It comes to more or less the same conclusions about happiness as Hermann Hesse's Siddhartha, if a touch more (okay, a lot more) cynically. That is, that life is best when one has a purpose, a way to spend their time. The plot in a nutshell: Candide desperately tries to retain his optimism as endless and increasingly unlikely calamities befall him and his cohorts. There are funny bits, there are disturbing bits, and there are bits that make you go "huh?" but all in all it's a decent read. And short enough that it isn't a chore to get through.

[dragonflyy419 · Valutazione: 4 su 5 stelle]

For a novel written in 1759 the silly humor and remarks on humanity were not completely lost on this contemporary audience member. I only wished I had a literary course I could be taking right now to explain all of the subtleties of the novella I am sure I overlooked. This is one thing I regret when reading classics by myself. I feel the need for a learned source to explain all of the historical context to me. I do plan on looking up some more of this myself. The introduction to the 1918 e-book version I was reading did shed some light to it for me.The story was one where I was so pleasantly amused with it that I found myself reading it all in one sitting. There were moments where things were so silly and completely surprising to me that I was laughing out loud. The optimism of the protagonist in light of all of the tragedies he encounters is what makes this story so amusing. The philosopher, Dr. Pangloss, in this book has a theory that all is right with the world regardless of the hardship one encounters. Another character, an old woman, states that there is always someone with a more tragic story. There is a satirical nature to these, but also some hint of truth to these statements. The pessimistic side character Martin in this book reminds me of Marvin the robot in Hitchiker’s Guide to the Galaxy and makes me wonder if Douglas Adams may have patterned his character after this one … just a thought.No character was sacred in Candide. Regardless of station in life all of the characters in the book are destined to some form of tragedy. Many of today’s comedian’s employ a similar tactic. Voltaire was indeed ahead of his time.I loved the narrative for it’s pure simplicity and the constant ridiculous situations all of the characters kept getting into to. This novella is worth taking some time out of your day to sit down and read.

[jillkenna · Valutazione: 3 su 5 stelle]

This tiny little book took me 8 days to read. Not because it was boring, the writing is just harder to read in this day and age (to me anyway).

[yenzie_1 · Valutazione: 4 su 5 stelle]

It's easy to understand, after reading Candide, why Voltaire wasn't high on the hit-parade of the Church and certain aristocrats.

[dandelionroots · Valutazione: 5 su 5 stelle]

In a constant barrage of hilarious, yet fairly accurate to history horror show: another war between the french and the english, the Lisbon earthquake and the inquisition's response to it, colonialism; Candide barely survives "this best of all possible worlds" according to his philosophy professor and a popular doctrine of the time period proposed by Leibniz (the argument not being that this world is free of evil, but given our species, it's the best we can achieve - for if we were capable of optimizing our world in any facet, God would have created that one instead). His experiences teach him that humanity is shit overall:"Do you believe that men have always slaughtered each other as they do today, that they've always been liars, cheats, traitors, ingrates and thieves, weak, fickle, cowardly, envious, greedy, drunken, miserly, ambitious, bloodthirsty, slanderous, lecherous, fanatical, hypocritical and foolish?Do you believe that hawks have always eaten pigeons when they find them?"But in too small doses it does redeem itself individually. He ends with hope."Man cannot obliterate the cruelty of the universe, but by prudence he can shield certain small confines from that cruelty." Cultivate your garden!Pretty keen on Voltaire now.